Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
