I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
