I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
