i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
wow bdsm is so cute
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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