I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
