two words: eviction party
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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