fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
