I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
