one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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