i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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