you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
