first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
