her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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