she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
