So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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