so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
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