Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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