All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
