I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
