btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
