OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Randomize
