I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
