remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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