i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
When did we convert life to cartoon?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
