I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
