Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Pants are for mortals
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
