well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
