CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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