Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
