I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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