So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Someone signed my nipple.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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