Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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