She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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