Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize