I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
