When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
