When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
