It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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