i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
