You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
