It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
you made out with another girl for some wings
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
