Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
