is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
God, you're like boner-b-gone
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
