can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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