I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
