It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
