When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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