To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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