i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize