He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
