What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
