Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
