we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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