your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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