eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
