what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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