i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
