This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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