My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
